An endless cycle of triumph and despair
What purpose does this torment serve?
In and out through light and the dark
My hope wanes
My strength and courage falters
Who am I? I am lost
My downtrodden spirit seeking happiness, seeking a fix
As if material objects and childhood movies will somehow break this curse I've put upon myself
When the body suffers, the mind follows
My emotions almost numb
But not quite
Melancholy being the name of the game
I reach to satisfy the itch, which only feeds the beast
Fueling this helplessness
Oh Warrior of light, Angel most dear
Why do you cry
Where once a spark danced
Only sorrow moistens your sight
Let the sweetness of sleep take me
For another day I must fight
Let tomorrow bring me the freedom I crave, I yearn for
Who am I?
I know not anymore
I wrote this while in a dark place. In this space of exhausted hope, not even seeking help, succumbing to what felt like an inevitable fate. You will be glad to know that I was lifted from this space not long after I had finished writing it. Thank you Nikita. Your beautiful words awakened parts of my soul that had hidden away, ashamed at my ordeal or maybe just afraid. Your poetic talent is obvious and profound. I hope one day to write such beautiful, soulful words to uplift and empower as you do. Just 10 pages into her poetry book and already I could feel the hold of sadness melting away. Her book "Wild Embers" (by Nikita Gill) is a powerful read, meant to soothe and enliven the powerful, fearless and courageous Goddess within. Thank you dearest Nikita, for your words have brought me back to the light.
I Am Kawehi. 27 years of life on this earth, steadily growing, rising and blossoming like a lotus birthing through the mud, upwards into crystal waters and then to rest atop in open air as the firey sun alights my form. I wander. I imagine. I expand and seek to understand. I see. I AM.