Health update and bessings
Alright guys so here's what's going on. I had to go into the clinic yesterday because my rash had gotten that bad. Tuesday night I would wake up every 2 to 3 hours because I could either feel my skin weeping or my skin felt so uncomfortably itchy that I had to reapply ointment or oils constantly. By Wednesday, my arms started to feel as if they were giving off so much heat, I probably could've cooked a freaking egg on it. Also, it was starting to feel like I didn't have that much circulation right around my elbows. I thought I was getting better, the Paw Paw had worked well but unfortunately that one tube I had didn't last long and pretty much as soon as I stopped using it, it seemed like I got worse then.
The last few days I've been praying a lot more. I've been talking to my angels mostly, as well as my guides and soul groups asking for their assistance in watching over me during this intense time. I've asked for their love and healing light to infuse my body, for them to be near me always so that I may be comforted by their presence and protection. I know they hear me, I can feel them. I am so grateful for their love. I do believe that when you need them most, they always answer your call. I've been seeing repeating angel numbers constantly in the last few days as well, usually 1111, 222 and 444 and although my body is under so much stress, I feel like I've been getting the right help when I needed it. Wednesday I was in so much discomfort that I didnt really think too much about it at the time but I grabbed my Nuummite stone and my Kyanite in either hand and pushed heat and any lower-vibrating energy I could down my arms and into my hands and I could feel the heat surge coming out of my hands and my lovely stones accepted it from me. I could feel that super uncomfortable feeling I had in my arms lessen and it became bearable. I am so thankful for my stones, they always respond to me when I need healing and I love them so much. I've surrounded my Nuummite with Citrine and my Kyanite to help cleanse it of the energy it took from me (Citrine and Kyanite are the only crystals that never need be cleared). I really needed that support and I know I'm being answered. I've also taken to listening to healing frequencies as I sleep, such as the 528 Hz frequency, also known as the Love or Miracle frequency. Many audios can be found on Youtube if interested and they are all very pleasant sounding and easy to fall asleep to.
Paw Paw is a miracle-worker!!
I absolutely must tell you about this magic ointment I've been using the last two days. If you've read my past post on self healing, you know that I'm currently dealing with a really bad rash, an allergic reaction brought on by inhaling mold spores from my previous place of residence. So it's been about a month and a week since getting the skin condition and I have been using essential oils such as Lavender, Peppermint, Melaleuca(Tea Tree) and Myrrh topically. At one time I was taking Prednisone to help clear up the rash but it was ineffective and using the essential oils was the only thing that worked in lessening the crazy itch. However, this past Tuesday I woke up to my rash "weeping", I'm assuming I had scratched during the night and had upset it. The following days it worsened becoming redder and more raised and this past Friday, had started to ooze an excessive amount of yellow liquid (yes I know it's nasty but bare with me).
Anyway on Friday, I met up with my cousin and her family to prep for my niece's birthday party that night. Seeing I was in extreme discomfort, my cousin recommended I try Paw Paw ointment, an ointment she had gotten from her past trip to Australia. She applied the ointment all over my rash and it immediately felt less tight, itchy and irritated. She wrapped my arms in gauze and then we iced the area for about an hour. After removing the ice and gauze the rash looked less red and I could actually move my arms around freely without my skin feeling like it was pulling or burning (especially in the elbow bend). Made from Paw paw fruit extract, a fruit in the same family as Papaya, the ointment is full of antioxidants, amino acids, and Vitamins A, C and E. It contains anti-inflammatory properties and is both soothing and softening of even the most sensitive of skin. Widely used for chapped lips and skin ailments, Paw paw aids in skin repair, healing cuts, burns and insect bites and relieves symptoms of Dermatitis, Eczema and fungal infections. Another plus is that a tube is pretty cheap and can easily be ordered online via Amazon or bought at a health-food store like Whole Foods.
Read on for more results and photos of my skin before and after using the ointment.
Self Love and Self Healing
Today is Day 9 of the extremely itchy rash that has taken up residence on my face and arms. I finally got an appointment today which hopefully will give me the right medicine I need to make a quick and full recovery. Last week, I woke up with a red, blotchy rash on my left cheek and left arm which overtime spread to the other side of my body and turned into large, raised welts on my face, swelling and dry skin around my eyes and nose, and very sensitive bumps up and down my arms. Although I've seen this rash before on my arms, it has never been on my face and I've never had puffed up eyes either. The last time I had this same rash on my arms, my doctor had actually told me it was heat rash, and the ointment he prescribed cleared it up well. This time however, I know it definitely is not, as the weather has been cool and it seemed to happen as I slept. I went in to Queen's ER this past saturday and was told by the doctor there that it was "Malar Rash", but he didnt know what caused it because he didn't think it was a regular allergic reaction to something as I was not showing all the symptoms such as fever and constricted breathing. Also, the rash was only on my arms and face and nowhere else on my body. He recommended I see a specialist who could run blood work to see if it was possibly caused by an autoimmune disease which seemed likely. I was put on medication which was supposed to ease the itching, which unfortunately did not, and so I made sure to use an essential oil mixture every few hours on my face and arms which included Doterra fractionated coconut oil and Lavender, Frankincense, Wintergreen, and Peppermint oils which is pretty effective and definitely acts as skin food!
Since that day when I went to the ER, my confidence had dropped to an all-time low. On my worst days, every time I would look in the mirror I would feel like a monster. I was upset that this was happening to me at all and I felt dread that I might never have perfectly smooth skin again (which may or may not have been an over-reaction). It was too embarrassing and upsetting for me to leave the house so since saturday I've only been out of the house once and that was for a quick trip to the store, which led me to feel worse once I saw some people staring at me like I had some kind of grouse, contagious, infectious disease (it isn't at all contagious).
Feeling literally like crap, I chose to elevate my mind and soul, and listened to You Wealth Revolution Network's and MasterWorks' healing replays. I'm glad I did. I remember one webcast replay in particular that talked about the "boomerang effect". It was about how sometimes you're really putting in the work for self development and being positive and keeping yourself in a higher vibrational state and sometimes an event will come along that you feel doesn't resonate with what you've been putting out and you start to blame yourself or think why me?! you know? What I learned was that everything is in divine timing. Unfavorable situations might come about due to past actions, thoughts, etc. even if you are no longer in that state and you have the choice to either blame yourself and bring yourself down about it or you can realize that this is something from the past showing up now to be released and you can either take it as a smack in the face or you can see it and know you have a choice to duck the boomerang! Everything takes time to cook. My situation came about and allowed me to flex my faith and trust the process and to go with the flow and not against it. It also taught me to focus more on what I want rather than what is wrong. Since I first got the rash, I completely changed my eating habits in order to make myself as healthy as possible so that I could heal faster. I want to be my best self at the highest vibration and changing my eating habits as dramatically as I did has only helped me to achieve that. Kale, fresh cranberries, broccoli, turmeric, detox tea, cinnamon, honey, acv, garlic, probiotic yogurt and kimchi are just a few of my new favorite foods I've been making part of my normal routine to nourish my body. I'm hoping to maintain faith in this idea of blessings in disguise.
At the start of this year I had this deep knowing that this new year would be one of my golden years and while it may seem like I'm in quite a pickle with my current skin issues, it was because of that that I started to eat as well as I have been and really taking the time to care for myself which I feel was what was lacking in my life before. Yesterday (which also happened to be the first new moon of the year), I got a breakthrough that I feel is really going to help speed up my healing process. I had this feeling that I had so much unexpressed anger, which was manifesting in this way. I slowly came to realize that I was angry with my physical body. Why was it doing this?! Why isn't it healing faster?! Why do I look like a monster?! Then I realized that I have held onto anger in and at my body for a while now, whether it was my personal issues with hair growing in places I didn't want or having dry skin all the time, or sun spots I would occasionally get, or never quite being at my ideal body weight. At the same time I know that my body is a beautiful partner to my soul. My body is simply expressing itself to show me what changes I can make in order to create a sustainable balance of health, self love, and joyful partnership. I had reached a kind of peace with my body. I now know that there is nothing wrong with my body. My body isn't "bad". My body is doing the very best it can to make sense of this current ailment and it is healing at the right pace.
Don't be upset with your body, but rather show your body some Love! Don't be angry with your body for being sick, but thank your body for bringing to your attention, lifestyle decisions or outside influences that do not serve your body's best interests. Be grateful for the positive changes that came about because your body expressed itself in the way it did. Another silver lining to my current situation is that I have had to stay home from work, and because I have so much free time, I have been able to work more on my blog and create more time for meditation and reflection, all of which I had been neglecting. I have also reached a kind of body peace which I never had before. Lastly, this was also a very humbling experience. I struggled with being judgemental in the past towards others as well as myself and I hope that this lesson has allowed me to overcome that kind of negativity. I'm simply going to trust the process.
p.s. send healing thoughts my way please! Thank you (:
I Am Kawehi. 27 years of life on this earth, steadily growing, rising and blossoming like a lotus birthing through the mud, upwards into crystal waters and then to rest atop in open air as the firey sun alights my form. I wander. I imagine. I expand and seek to understand. I see. I AM.